You can't get enough of this funny stuff!!!  

  Ha Ha Ha Ha


1. What do scientists call a caterpillar that sheds
    its exoskeleton in a volcano?

   a moltin' larva

2. Why are flowers so smart?

   Because they have all the anthers.

3. Why are flowers dangerous?

   Because they have pistils.

4. Which elements started a small restaurant together?

   calcium and iron made a CaFe.

5. Why did the yeast cell send its offspring to
    a brewery to go to school?

   it wanted to make its bud wiser!

6. Which element is only one gender?

   helium - He

7. Which element is never invited to parties?


8. What did absolute zero say to -273 degrees celsius?

   I'm O K, you're O K

9. How do you call gold?

   A u !!

10. What does copper say when it leaves?

   I'll C u later!

11. What is made of DNA and goes "meow"?

   Helix the cat!!!

12. What asks lots of questions and goes "oink oink"?

   Por que pig

13. What did one cell say to the other when asked if he wanted to go to a movie?

   I can't, I'm going fission.

14. Why is Mr.Mushroom always happy?

   Because he's a fun guy !

15. Scientists created a spy by combining sodium and
     chlorine. How does this spy introduce himself?

   "My name is bond.  Ionic bond"

16. What did one fern leaf say to the other?

   "Will you be my frond?"

17. What did the leaf's lower epidermis ask its openings ?

  "What 'stomata?"

18. Which organ is located between a baby goat's femur and tibia?

  Its kid-knee

19. How do fern leaf reproductive structures apologize?

  They say "We're sori."

20. What did the karate neuron say to its pupil?

  "Don't forget... axon, axoff!"

21. The esophagus, stomach, and small intestine all know how to read.  How is this 

  They went to alimentary school.

22. What do sodium chloride and potassium nitrate do when they see the flag 
      as they dissolve in water?

    they solute

23. What do the workers at the Turkey Point Power Plant use to wash their    


24. Why did the cell cross the microscope?

      to get to the other slide

25. Why don't stems ever say hello?

     Because they're always leaving.

26. Why is your elbow joint sometimes called your "funny bone"?

     Because it's next to your Humerus.

27. What did one fat molecule say when it was extremely upset?

      "I'm not just mad, I'm lipid"

28. Why did scientists decide not to build a fusion reactor in a prison?

        because there would be too much con fusion.

29. What did the positively charged cat say when it saw the mouse?

      "I've got my cation you"

30. What did the negatively charged mouse say when it saw the positive cat?

    "Oh no, there's anion me"

31. Which is the only piece of laboratory equipment with a high school diploma?

      The graduated cylinder!

32. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were hiking along the Grand Canyon.
      Dr. Watson picked a piece of sandstone and asked Holmes what type
      of rock it was.  How did Sherlock Holmes reply to Dr. Watson? 

      Holmes replied "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson."

33. Hollywood finally made a movie about the periodic table.
      What did they name the movie?

      "The Atoms Family"